Why I stopped blogging ... and why I'm back

Wow,  this feels really weird and also quite familiar, its an interesting sensation jumping back into this after 2 years off of blogging my families journey

So let me first of all say Thankyou to all of my lovely readers who have been patiently waiting,  understanding and often sending me words of encouragement these last few months …. that has lead  me to today …. When I opened my lap top to email a few clients and I suddenly, finally felt the need to share again …

First I feel I should share why I stopped blogging …. My last blog was a Maternity shoot at 38 weeks pregnant with my baby girl , Holly Louise gates arrived safe and sound on the 13th of July 2014 … and its been a whirl wind ride since then …

Most of you know that we were on a journey with our son Erik, he was seeing many paediatricians and specialists to determine exactly what he was having difficulties, part of me was ashamed I hadn’t picked up his quirks and tried to seek help earlier … but 2 days before  Holly was born we had an appointment  for Erik that changed everything,

He was diagnosed with ASD or Autism Spectrum disorder, sensory processing issues and severe communication and developmental delays both expressive and receptive …. It hit us like a truck, I’ll never forget that moment, first denial, then anger .. and well you know how the stages of grief go …

Suddenly our world spit into two half’s before and after diagnosis … suddenly the parenting journey I had always imagined in my head disappeared into thin air before my eyes … what lay ahead … was the unknown and unexpected
 Full of fear and doubt about Eriks future and also my unborn daughter ( we have a higher risk for subsequent children) and also a lot of guilt and blame … what did I do wrong  ?

We didn’t have long to wallow in our emotions and process these changes ( I was giving birth any day now) , he was still our happy little boy … but now we had some answers and we had a plan of action … the tears still flowed .. and I only googled enough to know there’s no cure, but early intervention can help!

What started that day in the paediatricians office then lead to a good 6 months of phone calls, red tape, appointments, Assessments, Referrals, intensive speech, behavioural and occupational therapy every week  …. Not to mention many many tears, lots of frustration, lack of sleep  but also so many happy moments, milestones and achievements!

Even writing this now almost two years later had brought back a flood of emotions …both good and bad, for how devastated and guilty I felt at the time and now how proud I am of the progress that has been made since, this journey itself require a lot more future thought, writing and posting … for another day

Needless to say a child with special needs, a new baby and a business two run ( I now have 2 businesses )  blogging took a back seat, heck washing my hair and eating anything but left over toast crusts took a back seat … and for a long time I didn’t think I deserved to do the things I loved, my entire world was consumed by what was best for my kids day in day out … slowly I’ve found my feet again, Its been a journey, physically emotionally and spiritually and I hope to share it with you all soon

Holly louise entered the world at 3.15 on a Sunday after noon, surrounded by love, laughter and family …. But that’s a story for another day

Xx thanks again for your endless patience


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