38 weeks ...
maternity photos taken by this wonderfully talented girl HERE
So we are on the home stretch now … and honestly I’m not sure whether I’m excited, or devastated … I suppose it’s a bit of both.
I’m so thrilled that the end is close … that soon I’ll get to deliver my beautiful baby girl and have a squishy cuddle with her all new and fresh and perfect …. But at the same time I’m devastated. Because once she arrives … that’s it!
… That’s my last pregnancy done, never to be repeated …. Never again will I feel the first flutters and then big kicks of a baby in my belly; never again will I spend hours stroking my swollen tummy, and feel that bond with the little person inside me …. And that nearly makes me want to cry!
Unlike my pregnancy with Erik, (that I wished away in a rush to meet him) I have held on to every day, every week, every moment … every time I go from x weeks to y weeks, I get a little more excited, and a little more sad.
I’m not ready to let go ….
As much as the pain, the contractions make me wish my labour would start already … I’m holding on desperately to every single day, every hour … because I’m not ready to let go yet !
Everyone keeps telling me “you’ll go this week, for sure” I smile and nod, but inside I’m praying
“Not yet, not yet … I don’t want to let her go yet”
Because I know, in that beautiful, sweet, exhilarating moment she arrives and I hold her for the first time, my tears will be bitter sweet, happiness in meeting our daughter, but sadness at the realisation I’ll never experience, pregnancy, childbirth or this moment again.
I’m not ready to let go … not just yet! let me hold her within myself just a little longer … let me savour each kick, wriggle and hiccup … every single moment we are still as one.
How far along: 38 weeks … the home stretch !
Total weight gain/measurements: … about 9-10 kgs I’m thinking, I don’t have scales at home so that’s just a guess haha,
Maternity clothes: yep not much fits at the moment, jeans shirts and trying to mix things up with accessories, ie statement necklaces and scarfs, but I did squeeze into my bridesmaids dress ( from another wedding) to go to a friend’s wedding ceremony on Saturday, a bit uncomfortable around my too big boobs but worth it … I felt very pretty, even if I was having Braxton hicks through the entire ceremony.
Stretch marks ; … a few teeny tiny ones have started to emerge this week, especially at the top and front of my tummy. L Guess it was bound to happen eventually
Sleep: haha what’s that … Braxton hicks are keeping me up all night long, if Aarons home I’m trying to nap in the afternoon, but I sure am starting to feel exhausted.
Best moment this week: finally fitting the car seat to my territory, it all feels very very real all of a sudden … !
Miss anything: sleep, all my “pretty” clothes, being able to shave my legs without doing 45 mins of yoga first.
Movement: still lots of kicks and hiccups, even though she’s engaged dropped and ready to go she’s still pretty active … its bloody painful !
Food cravings: right now … sticky date pudding !? don’t ask, I don’t know where that’s come from .
Anything making you queasy or sick; not at the moment
Gender: GIRL !!! …. TEAM PINK … !
Labour signs: OMG sooo many Braxton hicks …. Ouch ouch ouch !
Symptoms: baby kicksJ, reflux, back pain, Braxton hicks
Belly button in or out: 99% out
Wedding rings on or off: on
Happy or moody most of the time: excited yet devastated … see paragraph above
Looking forward to: , My friend’s birthday dinner this week, sharing my labour experience with my sister ( who is also a student midwife) and most of all just having a snuggly cuddle with my beautiful baby girl .. once she decides to arrive.
xxx Free Range Mumma xxx