Potty Mouth Mumma ...


“You’re swearing again!” says Aaron after we leave Sunday dinner at my parents

“Oh Fuck! … Am I? … Oh shit! … I Am!!” I reply in the car home “I have GOT to get this under control”

Aaron nods his head thoughtfully, and I promise to stop swearing …. Again

Yep … this Mumma has a potty mouth ….

And I wish I didn’t, but I do!

I swear all the time … under my breath, in traffic, when Erik poops 5 seconds after I’ve put a clean nappy on him and even in conversation with my 80+ year old grandparents ( I didn’t know I had been doing this until recently… I apologize G&G)  

And it leaves me deeply ashamed … because good mums aren’t meant to swear ( we will deal with the idea of Good mums another day )

We are meant to be setting stellar examples for our children …. By being patient, by never raising our voices or letting our tempers get the best of us … and especially no swearing!  

But it happens… 

Whenever I thought of mums who swear… I imagine “housos” the mum at the munnopara shopping centre , wearing her  “face off” flare jeans ( you know the ones)  and addidas hoodie, she has one bub tucked under her arm as she pulls her  toddler by the arm through k-mart  

“ hurry the fuck up would ya” … “ for Fucks sake, walk properly ya lil shit !” she drawls at him  

 The shoeless toddler just screams back “FUCK OFF!” as he tries to run away again! 

… And I realise, unfortunately ... I’m not so different

Because I swear too, I might not swear at my toddler, or scream it in the middle of a shopping centre ... but I still do it  

“ For fucks sake !”  I mutter when I realise Erik has emptied his drink bottle over the freshly mopped floors  

“ He’s done a Shit!” I tell Aaron when I realise Eriks pooped  ( I am imagining SHAZZA from housos as I write this  … shudder !)

“Nope.. He’s totally fucked it !” I sigh when Erik pulled the chocolate cake of the bench and smashes it to a million pieces on the kitchen floor  

Or just in general conversation …

 The minute I relax, and feel comfortable I notice (and probably more so, everyone else, notices)… that swear words start to pop up in conversation.  

They aren’t even necessary, they are easily substituted with other words, but sometimes my brain just seems to think “fuck” sounds better !  

Most of the time, I don’t realise I’ve said it … other times I can tell straight away by the look on the other persons face …. And then I’m instantly embarrassed and ashamed, silently vowing to stop swearing and giving myself a mental Slap ! 
I cant even remember when I started swearing, I never use to !

I want to stop swearing … I do...

But I don’t see how I can,

I can’t afford a swear jar … seriously

And unless Aaron is standing next to me 24/7 nudging me every time I swear I doubt it will ever change  ( FYI Aaron swears just as much as I do , but for some reason no one ever bats an eyelid when he does )  

I NEED to stop swearing , because I don’t want the toddler who thinks its ok to tell me to “FUCK OFF” or call someone a dick head because Mummy does … I want the toddler, who knows the word is bad and would never dare say it because he knows he will get his mouth washed out with soap …

But how can I tell him it’s bad … if it comes out of my mouth so often?

Do as I say and not as I do?


Lead by Example?


 Yeah, Easier said than done…. !

Well admitting I have a problem is the first step right ? 

So there you have it … I’m  a (Not proud ) Potty Mouth Mumma  … and cutting down on my cursing is going to take some time, it’s not going to be solved in one blog post … but I welcome you along for the ride ?


Any other potty mouth Mumma’s been through this? ... your advice would be greatly appreciated  ???



Xxx Free Range Mumma xxx













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