When its just not happening ....

 ... No matter how positive your trying to be ..
Nothing hurts more than  "not pregnant" flashing on the pregnancy test every month
Because you are trying so hard, your doing everything right, it wasn't this hard last time, but its just not happening...and that can be crushing!
It's so hard,
 even after a few months of trying,
 to stay positive,
 to make sex fun and not a chore
 and to not fall into a downward spiral where you blame yourself
Its hard, its not easy ...  and  I've only been trying a few months .... and that's why I'm writing this ,
Because every month when I get angry at the universe and my own body, I remember that there are woman out there that have been going threw this... every month , for years and years .... trying to have a baby !
That those women , the ones that try for years and years, the women who Will go threw anything to be pregnant ... those are the women who are truly struggling!
They never lost hope, they never stopped trying, they never sat on the toilet floor crying, negative test in hand  unsure weather they can keep doing this !
Because those women , my hero's ... keep their head high, they stay positive, hoping and praying to be a Mother !  
Every month they are crushed, but they stand up, brush them self off and start again ...
Those women, remind me that my small struggle is nothing in their eyes ... that I have to keep my chin up ... It will happen !
So to all the women out there who's road to becoming pregnant was not easy, weather it be trying for years, IVF, adoption ... I salute you !
You are amazing
You have so much more patience and love than I could ever hope to  have

You inspire me :)

Thank you

Big love

xxx Free Range Mumma xxx


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