She stole my name ....
|there is no real picture to sum up what I'm trying to say ... to here's some pretty chevron :p|
About a month ago, my amazing friend had a little girl ... a beautiful , bouncing, healthy little girl ....
And when she called me to tell me her daughter had arrived, I was soo excited for her ....
But then she told me what they had decided to call her ......
I actually burst out crying,
I told her I needed to call her back and made some excuse about Erik climbing something he shouldn't
and then I sat on my bed and started bawling .....
I cried harder than I ever have before ... big choking sobs, mascara tears running down my cheeks, I couldn't breath !
Erik was pulling at my legs " mummy ?... mummy ?"
Aaron ran inside after hearing my bawling , he wrapped me up in his arms and he asked " who died ?"
eventually I blubber out " she had the baby .... she called her- ... she called her - !"
I cant even say it ....
He smiles, relieved that someone didn't die, but then he looks at me " its OK" and he hugs me tighter
He knows .... even as I am bawling my eyes out, soaking his t-shirt with big wet tears
He knows, what I now know ... that our friend has called her daughter , the name we had picked out 6 years ago, for a girl !
He knows, as I do ... that if we ever have a bouncing baby girl , with my curls and Aaron's blue eyes ... she wont be called .............
and that broke my heart
I cried all day/night and then mopped around for two more days ... not because I was angry at my friend, because I was angry at myself!
For falling in love with a name, and not even considering a 2nd choice.. or a 3rd choice.
For spending 6 years, imagining chasing after her, yelling her name ... for spending the 2 years imagining her name and Erik's together as I tell them dinners ready .
I am hoping to find a name that replaces our original one, a name I will fall in love with all over again
But so far, no luck
Maybe I'll just hope to have a boy :P
I'll keep you posted on that one
xxx Free Range Mumma xxx