She stole my name ....

there is  no real picture to sum up what I'm trying to say ... to here's some pretty chevron :p

About a month ago, my amazing friend had a little girl ... a beautiful , bouncing, healthy little girl ....

And when she called me to tell me her daughter had arrived, I was soo excited for her ....

But then she told me what they had decided to call her ......

I actually burst out crying,

I told her I needed to call her back and made some excuse about Erik climbing something he shouldn't

and then I sat on my bed and started bawling .....

I cried harder than I ever have before ... big choking sobs, mascara tears running down my cheeks, I couldn't breath !

Erik was pulling at my legs " mummy ?... mummy ?"

Aaron ran inside after hearing my bawling ,  he wrapped me up in his arms  and he asked " who died ?"

eventually I blubber out " she had the baby .... she called her- ... she called her -  !"

I cant even say it ....

He smiles, relieved that someone didn't die, but then he looks at me " its OK" and he hugs me tighter

He knows .... even as I am bawling my eyes out, soaking his t-shirt with big wet tears

He knows, what I now  know ... that our friend has called her daughter , the name we had picked out 6 years ago,  for a girl !

He knows, as I do ... that if we ever have a bouncing baby girl , with my curls and Aaron's blue eyes ... she wont be called .............

and that broke my heart

I cried all day/night and then mopped around for two more days ... not because I was angry at my friend, because I was angry at myself!

For falling in love with a name, and not even considering a 2nd choice.. or a 3rd choice.

For spending 6 years, imagining chasing after her, yelling her name ... for spending the 2 years imagining her name and Erik's together  as I tell them dinners ready .

I am hoping to find a name that replaces our original  one, a name I will fall in love with all over again


But so far, no luck

Maybe I'll just hope to have a boy :P

I'll keep you posted on that one

xxx Free Range Mumma xxx


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