10 parenting Rules I broke .....
The 10 parenting rules I totally broke ....
The 10 totally impractical parenting rules I set myself during my pregnancy ... and I have broken all of them in the 18 months since Erik was born .... sometimes you just have to laugh at your naive expectations of parenting and throw the rulebook out the window !
* don't forget to turn on your sarcasm for this post
1. My baby will NOT have a dummy .....
hahaha , yeh right Shona , I lasted about 8 days before I gave in and brought some dummies for Mr greedy guts , sleep deprived, exhausted ... I caved ,
and yep at 18 months old Erik still has a dummy at bed time and when hes teething ... I know ... I'm a shocking mum ... I can feel your judgement from the other side of my laptop screen.
2. I will make my husband help with night shift .....
* rolls eyes *
this ended before it started , there was no point two of us being sleep deprived .... you have to pick your battles , this wasn't worth straining my relationship in an already stressful time ! although hubs helped whenever I asked, I let him sleep through the night so he could go to work the next morning !
it Will defiantly be different when number two comes along though !
3. I will breast feed exclusively ... it Will be easy .. it Will happen very naturally and it will be wonderful ...
hahahaha read my breast feeding journey here
4. The baby will not sleep in the bed with us
the baby did sleep in the bed ... not on purpose.... but he did sleep there
sometimes its 3.00 in the morning , I get up, bring him into bed to breast feed and then somehow wake up at 6.00 with him either, still snuggled up on me ( I'm asleep sitting up) ... or snuggled between us ... don't ask !!! there are big black holes in my memories from those first few weeks !
safe to say we put a stop to it once he started sleeping through the night but sometimes yes , he would sleep in our bed ... the shame
5. The baby will fit into MY routine .. not the other way around
OK , so now I want to go back and slap pregnant me ... what was I thinking !
you don't just give birth and it all goes back to coffee dates and shopping trips , everything changes , including your routine .....
you've gotta get use to planning your entire day around nap times , feeding, playtime !
your baby is your world , swimming lessons, playgroup, mums group , park trips, activity time, story time , watching cars 4 times a week ... these are all things that make up your new routine ... this can mean 3 months in between hair cuts and enjoying an entire meal out is a rare thing indeed !
YEP .... my entire day/week/month revolves around a 12;30 nap time and a 7;00 bed time ... welcome to my world !!!! '
6. My baby will always eat in his highchair at designated meal times !
.. oh bitch please ....
this kid eats everywhere , couch , in front of the TV, on the slippery dip, in his room, on our bed , on his bike , on the kitchen floor and in the laundry watching the washing machine !
he eats all day .. no set meal times , he just grazes all day like a bloody sheep , and he eats everywhere ,
my boy is never still .... like EVER so getting him to sit still and eat is impossible, if hes not doing 3 things at once hes not happy ...
I keep telling myself I need to work on this for things like kindy etc , but ... ill be honest , its not top on my to do list, so it probably wont happen !
7. My baby will not have a bottle to go to sleep ,
I don't know why but I always thought this was a sign of "lazy parenting"
we started following the approved feed, play, sleep method ... but then I realised , play, feed, sleep actually makes a shit load more sense .... common sense ! that what people have done for thousands of years , and despite the judgement ... it works !
and I am not going to stop doing what works because a text book says so ,play feed sleep works for us !
Erik goes into his cot with a bottle, he finishes it throws it out, finds his dummy and falls asleep ... without our help ! it works for us !
8. My baby will be fee a totally organic, sugar free, preservative free and gluten free diet ...
in an ideal world yes ... but I'm not a millionaire ... in fact we at at the total opposite end of the scale , and whilst we can maintain this idea about 50% of the time, realistically we cannot afford this !
sometimes Erik will only eat strawberry's and bread all day long ... and yes I let him !
here's the part where I turn in to a really "bad mum ".... he eats chocolate , its organic carob ... but still the shock, the horror , "this awful mother is feeding her son chocolate " ... get your head out of your arse .... get over it !
everything in moderation !
9. I Will never be entertained by my child's tantrums or crying ...
I laugh , sometime just a giggle, sometimes a stifled chuckle , sometimes I laugh so hard a little bit of wee threatens to come out !
sometimes I cant help it , hes just sooo dramatic and his face when he cries... you would think the world was ending !
Aaron and I are bad for this ... we know we shouldn't laugh , but , hes hilarious ... at least we try to make sure he doesn't see !
I am confident our laughing doesnt not encourage his bad behaviour, the look of his face is so devestated and he often runs off to sook in secret !
10. I will make time for myself after the baby is born ....
pregnant ME was quite a comedian wasn't she ?!
I can count on one hand the times this has happened since he has been born ... blogging is my daily me time,
getting my nails painted is a little luxury ... and a trip to the hair dresses is a rare but wonderful experience !
This is something I am working on , more time for me ... to make sure I'm still Shona ... and not just mummy !
Every day as a parent you are forced to question you actions, judgement, skills ... am I doing the right thing ? are we doing a good job ? I hope I'm not permanently scaring my child by letting him into the toilet with me ? am I feeding him enough ? (hes eating crumbs of the bottom of his foot )
there is no text book for parenting , there is no rule book for your child and even though we try to set our self rules , things change .. we grow , we evolve , we do what we have to, to make it threw the day !
Do what works for you , Do not apologise , do not feel guilty because parenthood isn't what you expected , its hard, its exhausting ,
theres no sick days, lunch breaks or weekends for parents , its 24/7 365 days a year and we have got to cut ourselves some slack !
Stop trying to be Perfect and start trying to be happy... and being happy doesn't always come from following the rules !
You are doing an amazing job !
xxx Free Range Mumma xxx