Notes on Friendship....
Was it just me ... or was any one else feeling incredibly let down by our expectations of friendship .....
im finally ok just being by myself !
growing up I had friends, lots of friends, boys girls, same age, younger, older, local and pen pals .... but I never really had a best friend.....I tried,
but it never happened.... not really
and up until now.... Ive always felt that because I didn't have a "best" friend that something was wrong with me
because we are meant to have a best friend,
or so television tells us
( think of sex in the city , the hills, the OC,)
.... your meant to have a best friend, one you can call and talk with for hours on the phone, the one who throws you a surprise birthday , who can know all your secrets ... the friend who puts just as much effort in as you do !
but Ive never had it .... Ive tried .... believe me Ive tried, but its never been easy ,
trying to turn someone from your friend to your best friend,
the closest Ive ever got to a best friend was Aaron's best mates fiance', we did everything together, and it was easy .. as easy as breathing, but when their engagement fell apart so did our friendship
no matter how hard we kept trying it just wasn't fair to anyone
so here I am ... best friendless ... again ... and for the first time
I'm totally OK with it :)
because I have lots of friends, friends who I do share my secrets with, that I am brutal honest with , that I want to bake cakes for and put in the effort .... and I don't expect to label any of them best friend .....
I found, the minute I stopped trying to make close friends .... close friends came to me , threw mothers group, swimming lessons and Aaron's friends
they might not be the sex and the city friends I expected to have growing up , but they are perfect, they except me just the way I am
once I stopped trying to fulfil my own expectations for a prefect friendship 'best friend" I realised I already had lots of amazing friends who do want to be a part of my life
so at this point in my life I don't have a best friend ... I have about a handful of extremely close girlfriends ......and that's more than good enough for now :)
also I have my husband who really is my "secret" best friend,
a big thank you to all my friends "you know who you are "
you are amazing .... you make me feel amazing
I Will never be able to thank you
enough ... for making me realise ...
I am enough
xxx Free Range Mumma xxx