birth story part 2 : Erik Stephen Gates


Birth story part 2 ; Erik Stephen Gates

quick side note : for any of you women out there who are scared about hook that pops your amniotic sack ..... if that's the biggest thing you've had up "there" ...I seriously feel sorry for you !!!!
also, there is no dignity or glamour about having a baby... you will understand this once you have 4 nurses at the end of your bed one of which is holding a dolphin torch ( yes this happened) and a doctor with what feels like his fist inside you feeling around.... mid contraction !
anyway .... waters broke ... it felt kind of funny , like a water balloon had popped , and never once in the birthing classes or the books had anyone mentioned the stench....
let me clarify
for those who have not yet experienced the "miracle" of birth ,
amniotic fluid smells like you have stuck your head in a bucket of semen !!!
its gross
i was gagging, Aaron was laughing... and the worst part ... you cant get away from it ! because it keeps coming and you are sitting in it :(
safe to say it was yuck !

eventually I stopped gagging long enough to realise I had started contracting yay !
3 hours later they were defiantly stronger but the doctors had a time line to stick to.
So against my strong disapproval they proceed to try and put a IV in to administer synthetic oxitocin .
 I say try, because it did not go smoothly ,

 they tried for 20 minutes to put an iv into my inner elbow, after 20 mins I was having panic attacks so they gave me pethidine.... this made me really badly nauseaus.... I'm contracting, about to throw up, strapped to a table having two people hold down my arm whilst anaesthetists try to inject me .....
 this was officially  the worst part of my labour,
45 mins later the iv is in
I officially hate everyoneIi make eye contact with
and my contractions have been cranked right up to 11 ...

 (   I later find out that an induction with artificial oxitocin produced contractions 3 times stronger that a normal labour... no wonder I thought i was going to die )
whilst i feel like murdering anyone who touches me ,
apparently for the next 4 hours I do not make a sound..... I like to imagine I took on a trance like meditation and mentally battled through the pain ... the honest truth is that I don't really have any memory of the few hours before i was pushing Erik out,
what I do remember, is brief, patchy and disorientated....
I remember, Aaron giving me drinks of water
I remember the pain ... I will never forget
I remember at one stage thinking I was going to die
I remember the first time I peed in front of Aaron and being tremendously embarrassed .... (if only i had know what was yet to come )
I remember losing all of my dignity and pride.....
I remember countless people putting there hands up my va- jay-jay
"oh you want to do an internal too , well go for it , theres only been 12 other people stick there fists up there today , so why not love !!"
Aaron says I started humming for a brief period of time ... I do not remember this ....
at about 12;00 I tell the midwife I feel a pushing urge, she tells me to hold of as long as I can, I hold of for a hour by laying on my side on the bed with my legs clamped closed sashaying like a giant pregnant fish, threw my contractions
I do not care if its not pretty.... I'm pretty sure I'm going to die any minute anyway
eventually I cant hold on any more and I start to push,

 they tell me to get on all fours and push ... not a great idea... at this point I request the gas to get threw these last strong contractions... I am using my hands elbows and head to keep my body from colapsing, Aaron is holding the gas mouth piece for me .... I don't have the energy to tell him when I need it or not so ...whilst i am not using it he is poking the tube into my cheek
I don't even have the energy to tell him to " get that fucking thing out of my face "
laying on my back ( much better ) Aaron is holding one knee, Meagan ( my midwife) is holding the other ...I am pushing .... I am pushing ... I am pushing .....

am I doing this right ????

" push like you need to poo " says mum

disgustingly it works
I am focused, strong, exhausted, deliriously happy, vulnerable, hungry and running hilarious commentary threw my own head !
"the head keeps popping in and out" they tell me

 ... why cant I feel this ... I thought I would feel something but nothing
"would you like to touch the head " ask the mid wife
"NO"  I say in my incredibly stern boss voice
she precedes to pester Aaron instead
" touch it .. touch the head ... come on " ( grabbing his hands )
" Aaron do not touch it ... don't even look at it"

 I say, as I can tell he doesn't want to ( he thanks me for this later )
" I want him to have sex with me again ,OK !! "
everybody laughs, as I prepare to push again
pushing pushing
midwife, brings a table over
" what are you doing? " I ask
" preparing your for an episiotomy" she replies
my  inner crazy hormonal bitch takes over for a split second ...
" I am NOT having you cut my va jay jay .... if you cut ME , I will cut YOU ! "
I tell her in my stern and serious voice
" I  CAN do this "
I push one more time .... I feel it now, I can feel it all... it feels like some one is unzipping my entire vagina and setting it on fire at the same time .... but I have to do it !
one quick breath and I keep pushing...

( aaron tells me later that I hadnt taken a breath for a few minutes and my face was purple by this point )
" the head is out... one more push "
theres still pain, but I keep my eyes closed and one more push .....
" splosh"
the pain is gone.... totally gone... I feel empty and at the same time I open my eyes and there is a wet little bundle on my tummy....
big brown eyes
full head of hair
tiny purple fingers
and bright red lips
he is slimy squishy and wriggly
" hello beautiful"

and hes gone.... over to a table to be cleaned up, etc
mum is crying .... she cut the cord
Aaron is looking at me with every ounce of love right there in his eyes
just as our baby starts to cry he kisses me ....
to this day it is the most sweetest loveliest kiss we have ever shared. I will never forget it
go be with him I tell Aaron as I can see him watching Erik from the other side of my bed ... I can tell he wants to but he doesn't want to walk past the masacre scene at the end of the bed ... " just don't look" I tell him and he goes over to our baby ... our baby .. I giggle  to myself

at this point I just stop for a minute .. and I mentally pat myself on the back , its done ! I did it !
  I delivered my baby, hes here and hes perfect ! I did it !!  my body , my amazing body !!!!
I smile ridiculously


then it all comes back to me, I'm in stirrups and my hips are locked up, they are really sore
I ask to put my legs down, but they make me stay in the stirrups whilst they get the after birth out and stitch me up , only two stitches didn't feel a thing !

another side note; after birth/ placenta .... no one really mentions this... no one really talks about it or tells you about it but its quite important to
1. so your husband doesn't freak out and ( WTF !!!) like mine did
2. so you can decide before hand if you wish to keep the placenta... this is an important point and one I wish I had know about before having Erik
( ill post about this soon)

the placenta and the after birth is all the left overs from your uterus, the lining, and all that fun stuff
in most hospitals these days they will give you and injection to get the placenta out but even without the injection it will happen naturally with the bodies contractions, it just may take a bit longer
my arsehole doctor gave me the injection but my placenta " wasn't coming out quick enough" and they wanted to prep me for surgery...

" how about NO " was my answer
 " I did not go threw 8 hours of labour to have my baby naturally for you to just cut me open anyway"
" just let me concentrate and push... and ill get it out

once everyone stopped hassling me and pushing on my tummy,
one push and it slipped out !

finally I could put my legs down and cover up with a sheet

a shred of dignity restored ... kind of

by now Erik is all cleaned up, measured, weighed and carefully dressed by daddy ,
 mum ( now Nana) is still a mess, crying one minute and laughing the next, running in and out of the delivery suite to my dad and sister waiting outside! (I still joke that she was more emotional than I was :P)

the first time Aaron held Erik brought a tear to my eye.... every inch of overwhelming love was right there on his face,, his huge smile and proud look said a million words and I'll never forget it

"I'm a dad" he said " my god, I love him so much, I just do , I cant explain it, I love him so much "
and then he was brought over to me ....
to be honest, there was no overwhelming surge of love for the bundle in my arms, I was happy he was here  and I loved him and Aaron but I didn't get the instant bond the way Aaron did,
 he didnt feel like that baby in my tummy, he didnt look like I expected, I loved the baby in my tummy, but who was this delicate little baby .... I had to get to know him all over again !
.. but that's another story
I was so  pleased with myself that i had done it as I stared into his huge eyes and snuggled into him, capturing his newborn scent forever in my memory I whipered... "my baby"
then we had our first of many  mummy and Erik cuddles
And I thought labour was the hard part, I had know idea what the next 4 weeks had in store for me .....
my beautiful boy today
welcome to mummyhood
Part 3 .... welcome to mummyhood.... comming soon
xxx Free Range Mumma xxx 



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